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Bad Days, Good Thoughts

February 10, 2019

Definitely not one of my best days…not even one of my good days.. I feel fat, full, moody, cranky, lazy, tired and the worst mother. I have no clue or patience to deal with teens. I feel lonely, old and divorced. I feel useless with no job no friends no boyfriend no partner. My gym membership expires tomorrow and I will not renew it for now. So no gym either. 

No social life. Nothing exciting. annoyed and annoying. 

Now, that I got out the drama…. I am grateful I get to fight with my teenage boys and I get to change and improve myself, my skills. 

I just had a disagreement with Noah regarding his homework and I was humble and wise enough to do a role play and admit in front of them I have no clue how to deal with teens so I let Noah decide if he should go spend the afternoon with his friend even though he didn’t finish all of his homework.

So I may not feel perfect inside nor I may not be the perfect mother on the outside but at least I try, I get educated, I am open and vulnerable and honest. So that is cool. Even if it doesnt feel good. And its enough to try, to make the effort. 

I am reading this Happier book, and its such a relief to read that if you love family it doesn’t mean I have to spend all the time with them. Or if I struggle sometimes it doesnt mean I am unhappy. 

Having M&M’s and wedges and bread with butter. Woke up at 6 am. sleepy. Kids are teasing each other and play and fight. 

This. Is. Motherhood. This. Is. Adulting. This. Is. Real. Life. This. Is . Not. The. Movies. 

(feel it to heal it. venting your emotions will aid to dissapate them. so you can get on with your life)

Oana Voda
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