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Spanking myself (verbally)

February 25, 2019

Why do I have to keep acknowledging the tiredness? Ok, I got up at 5,50 am, ok, my eyes are tired, I am more hungry and more impatient and moody. Why do I have to keep remembering this? So I perpetuate it ..? So stupid.🤦🏻‍♀️ How do I change this? Its my reaction to it, […]

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Sweet pain, I need you

February 15, 2019

Time waster: talking on the phone.  Solution: turning my phone on silent when I engage in the activities I practice. So this writing thing so far is more like journaling. It does help to dump all the anxiety.  Solution: start my day with the follow up voice recordings. To remember what my perception of my […]

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Uncertainty of life, certainty of self

February 7, 2019

How do I remember to write every single day?? I did miss feeling this smooth keyboard and this crisp screen. Now, my experience is much more enjoyable with my long, red whore nails.  I have been even more sad than I wrote last few days. I really cried, suffered and moaned. The quality and the […]

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Habits on the road

January 30, 2018

Sri Lankaaaaa yeahhh!! It helps. It helps to read what other people say about their own experiences. How to improve and how to break your limits. I must sound like a lunatic by the way … that’s the only thing I talk about…..improving, practicing, breaking my limits…  I guess when you really want something, you […]

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Atomic bomb in my brain

January 29, 2018

Its 7 am in the morning and I am up since 4,30. I am in shock, my mind just experienced a complete stroke as I am reading Spartan Up by Joe Sena. It is unbelievable the frame of mind I had until now. My world, my mental one, just expanded never to return again (I […]

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Little joys.. big treasure

January 24, 2018

I truly feel blessed. I think I wrote this already. But I want to write it again. I truly feel blessed. I am well taken care of. Spoiled and pampered. From everyone close to me. There is no chance in hell or in heaven you will be left out of choices if your true desire […]

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Lessons taught by a serious flu

January 19, 2018

First and foremost your mindset is vital in recovery. If you keep wining and complaining that you are feeling low and sick, your body gets the message eventually. Your mood is horrible, and since mood or state is the key to do anything… the only thing that you want to do when your mood is […]

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Do you struggle well?

January 15, 2018

Sick and vulnerable. Did not cry for attention. Just accepting the one is coming towards me. I feel guilty about receiving. Its unbelievable… I was crying for men to accept me the way I was, no .. actually I would do about anything to be the way they wanted me to be so they would […]

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What happens if you stick to it

January 9, 2018

Breaking your own will is the ultimate will power. Breaking through old habits, when you think you cant or wont or why do it… So freaking awesome!!! When you are muscles burn and you feel like collapsing every-time you get out of bed and still you are doing your next workout, with your own forever […]

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