I don’t know why I have the feeling its so hard to keep up with the things I have decided I want to do, the things I have to do and then all the other things that need to be done but they weren’t scheduled (the whirlwind of the daily life).
I feel overwhelmed. Because I didn’t feel well, because I want to take the kids skiing for 2 or 3 days.
Maybe its because I just needed to take a mental break from all of this.
Exercising wise I have missed 2 times after 15 days working out straight every single day.
I have to remember to note the progress. Which I am making. I still keep up to the routine. I am struggling now, but its more mentally because physically I actually do it.
And the relationship with the kids has improved!! I committed to keep calm and to act not react when they fight or misbehave. And I have been keeping calm and I did not react.
There is my goddamn progress!!!! Why cant I see that, I have to write it to see it??? Yeaaah!! Keep score on a compelling score board!
And this right now is fucking accountability!!! I kick my self in the ass and I am really worried and anxious which ruins the mood and the momentum!!
Do I expect myself to have good content every single fucking day???Not fair!! – there are good and less good days, I am human.
Do I expect myself to write every single fucking day??? Absolutely!!! – the process is more important than the results sometimes.
Do I expect to feel great every time I exercise or I do what needs to be done??? I actually realize I do and it is wrong!!!
I just realized I don’t need to be all happy and hyped about doing what I need to do. And that doesn’t mean I failed.
Completely the opposite, doing what you need to do even if you don’t feel like it is major shi(f)t!!!!