Its amazing how parents complain about kids misbehaving or doing or not doing the right thing… when in reality.. parents themselves are misbehaving and are doing or they are not doing the right thing. And right there in front of their own kids. Sounds familiar? Think again.
I observed myself advising my oldest son how to remain calm in front of his smaller brother’s naughtiness, madness and pure energy unfolding. He is not even 11, boys are fighting, teasing each other… you know… they are just being kids… growing up kids.
As I was trying to bring peace between them with no result in sight, my blood was boiling, my pulse was getting high, my voice started to sound like a squeaky door… sharp, high pitched and empty. You can not say one thing and feel another. The energy doesn’t lie. My 2 boys saw the opposite of what I was trying to teach. I could feel my own annoyingness and everything else but calmness, as I was trying to teach them how to be calm and unaffected.
It was at that moment, I knew… I fucked up.
Being the adult and wanting to be a responsible one, I had to admit it, right there in front of them. I had to admit I was nothing but calm. I was fuming with frustration and a sense of helplessness because I was out of solutions and patience at that moment. I told them I am really mad and I threatened them ‘this will have consequences, but for now I am gonna put myself in timeout, and we will deal with it later.’ Crash, boom, bang. My ego whatever that it is…was shattered which made me even more angry, so I stormed out of the room.
I did misbehave, I don’t know how teachers have the patience with not only 2 kids but with 30 of them all at once.
I am human, we all are, and even if we are adults we don’t have all the answers. At least, I don’t, not even after 12 years of being a mother and 40 years of experiencing life.
My boys whispered victoriously ‘busted’ but I think I was more successful teaching them that even adults don’t do things right, emotions rise, we express them in a safe and pretty respectful way and we go on to self regulate. So when someone who in their minds has the total authority does make a mistake… its ok for them to make mistakes.. they learn how to self regulate seeing me doing it. They also learned how to storm out of the room. With the appropriate drama.
What is your favorite way of misbehaving? And let me know if your kids are doing it already too.