It’s only the 5th day of daily writing (one of this year’s resolution) and it feels like 1 year already.
I have no freaking clue what to write and even if I said I would write about myself, it seems there is nothing to be said.
My kids being aggressive and fighting and whining really affects me and I feel horrible about it. And my perception of my life with them is that I am so serious, that I am boring, that everything else is so much better on the other side (their dad’s house)… and I get so annoyed with this …
I mean, I look at what I write…always about the mind…obsessive…. Nothing funny. Too serious. And my son as he is reading this is saying: no, you are not! You are such a happy, cool and awesome mother.
That was such a cute moment. I hope I ll never forget how good it feels to kiss and hug my son, Noah I mean, the way he smells so good.
Fuck, now I cant write anything because Noah is starring at my screen and when I do try to be funny, he gets angry and upset so I guess I am not funny after all.
So yes, today I feel like I failed.
The quality of your thoughts will always reflect the quality of your life. Please note the writing above reflect my thoughts and my interpretations of how things are going in my life. No wonder I feel creepy.
The key word in ‘today I feel like I failed’ is today. Tomorrow is another day where I can fail again, or keep at it. And win. Not the whole prize, but a small portion of it. Sometimes the big prize comes in small doses throughout days or years. Please note that ‘hope’ and a shred of ‘optimism’ creeps in my thoughts, and this is just enough to make me wake up tomorrow with a new wind of motivation and stick to my habits. Oh, yes, and patience. If you find any, buy it in bulks, you will need tones of it throughout the process of making anything happen.