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The love making pattern

February 12, 2019

Just yesterday I was writing I am resistant to change.

And now I am reading you need challenge, hardships and struggle so you can be happy. Because if you don’t have these, then you are bored.

If you have to much of these, then you feel like you are drowning and then the temporary relief of pain may be confused with happiness. But it is not.

So instead of the drowning pattern, go for the lovemaking pattern. In both cases you have an end goal – the climax, but only with foreplay you get to enjoy what is preceding the climax. 

So now.. I kinda struggle … to do everything on my daily schedule… I feel a bit overwhelmed and I feel I struggle to be self disciplined… I am anxious if I don’t do what I set out to do… (which is good..i remember reading that building a ritual will do that to you: if you don’t go through with it …it will give you anxiousness..)

So now I struggle… does that mean I am happy?? or soon to be?

I need to always reassure myself I am doing the right thing… but I feel lonely, I do not have so many friends, I have no social life…and I keep reading that these are not the signs I go insane.. on contrary I am doing things right and I am succeeding… this is the foreplay, right? Enjoying, struggling and being on the path of mastery…

Something is gotta give… 

Oana Voda
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